Extra, Extra...Read All About It

Yeah, tally_cat is pretty much awesome...

Catherine the Great[est]
The Long of It:

1. My age is unimportant to you. Why? Because I say so - now shut up.

2. My sexual orientation is none of your nevermind. Though, I am rather straight. Okay, I am, in fact, unequivocally straight. Aaaaand, I am married to the most wonderful man in the world. No, really - he is. My husband also happens to be a kick-ass attorney. The best attorney EVAR.

3. I work in a not-so-bad gig. I am, however, searching for greener pastures to graze upon...should you find anything, let me know.

4. While my age doesn't matter to you...my birthday does. Mark it down on your calendar ------> August, 26th. Buy me things. [Thank you, in advance.]

5. I am not stupid. Random, yes. Stupid, no. Don't like it? Sue me.
(I'm married to an attorney, so I could really give a rat's ass.)

6. My random, witty and sarcastic nature makes me the belle of any ball. Okay, maybe not the "belle" - perhaps the ... "cool-ass bitch" ... yeah, that sounds about right. I'm so cool, that I have to ward off the throngs of people who want to be seen with me. Uh huh - ward them off, I say. With flaming sticks. BIG flaming sticks. (I had to order them specially because I needed flaming sticks that big to ward off that many people.)

7. I am not this sarcastic in person. (Unless I'm tired.) (Or sick.) (Or awake.)

8. Don't forget to buy me things for my birthday. August 26th. If you need a postcard reminder to be mailed to you a week and a half beforehand so you still have time to go out and shop for me, that can be arranged. Feel free to email me.

The Short of It:
I am Cat.
I rock.

Cat's Words of Wisdom:
The dumber people think you are ...
the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.

Everyone loves me. No, really.
Check out this quote from a friend - -> "...you are officially my hero" - jspurlin